So John "Deputy Dubya" Howard got Dick Cheney to politically interfere in the Hicks case. If only we could believe he genuinely believed the Hicks case had gone on too long. But we know our PM, don't we? He just wanted the Australian public to get off his back. Where he would probably have enjoyed Hicks languishing at Guantanamo for the twenty or so years Hicks' prosecutor Mo Davis was after, his intervention resulted in a vastly reduced term. Oh, well, you can't win 'em all.

Or can you? The AFP evidently wants to issue a control order on Hicks, requiring him to report to the police three times a week for an entire year after his release in a few months. That'll teach him to get off lightly when the Government wanted his arse incarcerated for eternity.

Enter our Very Foreign Minister, Alexander Downer, who is simply scandalised by allegations of political interference. Goodness gracious him, simply how could anyone impugn the integrity of this government, unbesmirched for over eleven years, in the case of David Hicks!

Listen to Dear Alex getting beside himself as he does a Rumpelstiltskin while shrieking at Virginia trioli: "You're just blackening our names. That's all you want to do!" (NB: Go to The World Today, scroll down to "Downer denies political interference allegation in Hicks case" and click on one of the media players. The transcript is also available.)

In other news of Howard Government corruption, AFP Commissioner Mick Keelty -- he who was subsequently gagged by Integrity John when stating the bleeding obvious about increased terrorism owing to the Iraq war -- has suddenly backflipped on the Mohamed Haneef case.

"I was as surprised as anybody when the DPP advised that Haneef could be charged. Because I didn't think the evidence was strong enough," Mr Keelty told The Bulletin, to be published today. Asked if he had told the DPP of his concerns, Mr Keelty replied: "Oh, yes."

But wait, says Haneef's lawyer, Peter Russo: "I'm absolutely shocked. This is the first time that I've heard such a thing be said. Keelty, up until this point, has always been saying exactly the opposite."

Keelty also lays into The Greatest Exponent of Democracy The World Has Ever Known, one, Kevin Andrews, the Minister for Aryan Immigration:

"If you want to marginalise every Sudanese person that's come to the country, then the easy way to do it is to label them all as criminals," Mr Keelty said. "If you want to marginalise the Islamic community, label them all terrorists. I mean, what we've got to do is just be guarded in our language and don't marginalise or isolate people through the language we use." Asked if Mr Andrews should have been more circumspect in his language, Mr Keelty replied: "That's a matter for Kevin Andrews."

At least we can be thankful that Non-core Never-ever Johnny has come out with an ironclad assurance that Australia will not be supporting any strikes against Iran by his squeeze George Dubya and the Vice Squeeze, Dick Cheney.

Then again, there is always the last week of the campaign. If the polls don't change, Major Magoo might call in another favour from Washington's Boys from Brazil. Surely the commencement of World War III is not too much to ask to ensure his re-election?