The uncircumcised penis may well be the cause of our era's backlash against the good old sex revolution of the Sixties. Back then circumcision was routinely done to all males, not just Muslims and Jews, for whom the procedure is still required. Today, every dude is running around with one of those risible foreskins while article after article talks about young women putting off sex until marriage or worse.
The question is worth pondering, because there is nothing sillier or less conducive to passion than that preposterous prepuce covering a man's otherwise noble member. You know the scene: a trail of wildly discarded clothes leading to the bed and then … nervous laughter or a grimace of repugnance followed by a dick-withering "Eeuuhhhgghh! You're not putting that weird thing in me!"
At the very least it's another nail in the coffin of "Intelligent Design". Of course the simple folk who buy this hogwash would argue that such an unattractive sex organ fits perfectly with "God's" exhortation to forego fornication until marriage with the lights turned off.
It was Michael Winterbottom's film, 9 Songs, that got me thinking about cloaked willies. Briefly, it's about the explicitly repeated sexual encounters of a couple as the basis for exploring their relationship. Each "coupling" is interspersed with a few minutes of various rock bands in concert.
About half way through I started fast forwarding the music scenes -- there are some excellent bands around these days, but none of them seem to be known to Winterbottom -- and then I hit the fast forward during the sex scenes. After awhile, it just gets boring. But one of the latter scenes showed the girl -- a replica of Olive Oyl right down to the little knob of her pony tail -- giving the bloke a blow job. This would have been an erotic moment, except that, not only was he uncircumcised, but the thing she was putting in her mouth looked like a rotting sausage encased in a withered prepared intestine. I asked myself, do they all look like this? It was positively frightening.
I've seen my share of porn and nowhere do you see uncircumcised penises. And when two women are getting it on with a slick double-headed dildo, would it ever be moulded to represent an uncircumcised thrust-o-matic? Not on your buried-to-the-hilt gasps of "Who needs men, then." Not only are socked cocks the antithesis of eroticism and sexual esthetics, but they are potential containers of all sorts of yucky stuff from foul-smelling smegma to yeast infections.
How do women put up with them? Or men, for that matter. Perhaps they aren't. Perhaps the real reason teenage girls are holding on to their virginity is not because they fear falling pregnant, or because they fear "God's" wrath, or because they fear AIDs, but because the cocks under the jocks are so-o-o silly looking. Just about guaranteed to dry up the wettest of pussies.
My advice to parents of newborn boys: have 'em circumcised right away. For parents of older boys, call your cosmetic surgeon today, don't delay. The little tyke's short-lived pain will be the adolescent's throbbing gain and may well prevent an impotent adulthood. And, hey, if you want a stand-up comedian to do the job, call a mohel.
-- Benoît Balz, (in association with Dr Nick Riviera, everybody's favourite cut-rate surgeon).
Update, 13 May 2007: Health fear drives circumcision comeback
Interesting points you raise.
I can reveal that I had an adult circumcision-because of a rare condition:a very tight foreskin which caused painful intercourse. The quack did a good job, and at last I was able to enjoy coital pleasure - uninterrupted,so to speak. Then I started to watch porn, as one does, and I saw circumcised members were all the rage. So my surgery was not only functional but fashionable.
Did this imply geater potency or was it more attractive to women? I mused. When a mate of mine and I had sons about the same time, we discussed the ins and outs of circumcision. Some said circumcision was more hygienic. But we both decided that there really wasn't enough feasible medical evidence to suggest that this was the case.
Both of us, being professional men, didn't particularly want our offspring to make a precarious living from appearing in R-rated flicks, shot in some disused warehouse in Canberra. So,our sons remain uncircumcised. I realise that this reduces their chances of being major porn stars. But my son,now 18, with a girlfriend, seems to live with that!
Incidentally, on the subject of women and oral sex -- I saw a hilarious episode of Sex and the City where Samantha was giving a blow job. When the seminal fluid filled her oral cavity, she gave a look of total distaste! In fact, Sam gave her male stud a cock-tail of spermatozoa, called Funky, to drink and watched his reaction! The bone-head (excuse the expression) swallowed it with hardly a blink. Sam was, er, naturally gobsmacked! The things women do to please us guys!
david james baird
proprietor of the Rogue Report
Brigt
Victoria
Posted by david james baird on July 26, 2006
I for one am uncircumcised... I have to tell you I did feel awkward growing up for I'm on the football team and had to see the difference between my penis and the other boys' penises in the locker room. I did get teased but I lived with it. It in no way caused my life to be dysfunctional because I learned pretty fast that it's all about preference.. My girlfriend told me it doesn't really matter because I can please her just fine :). I think in the end we all have our opinions.. and that's what it really comes down too.
Posted by Dean Howard on October 20, 2006
This whole article is a P.O.S. uncircumsised boys are no different then those boys' dicks who got half of the skin of thier dick cut off. If my girlfriend wanted my dick to look "normal"(which she doesnt) i could just pull back the skin. If it stinks then fucking wash it. And yes there is porn out there where the man is uncircumsised.
Posted by 8 inches on March 5, 2007
It is difficult to distinguish cut from uncut when both are erect and all you have to go by is pic or flic (so much for "silly looking"). Hence there are uncut actors in porn films, but their foreskins never get a part. Also, most porn films in English speaking countries are made in the USA, where nearly all men of age to act in porn films were cut as babies. Why should a dubious Yank custom rule the erotic roost? BTW, the only foreskin porn I know of is for gay men. Here's hoping that foreskin erotica for straight women will emerge eventually.
About the only drawback of the foreskin is that it makes putting on a condom a bit harder. A snug condom can make for near pain in the frenulum if you're not careful.
No one should EVER give a blowjob on a cock that's not been freshly washed. If you respect that rule, then the foreskin and what's under it will never gross you out.
A woman who cannot open her intimate life to a foreskin is a sadly small minded creature. It would be like a man rejecting a woman because she has long inner lips. In my experience, a woman's first encounter with a foreskin can be a powerfully erotic moment for both her and the lucky willie. The foreskin is a significant addition to the most intensely sexual part of a man's body, the tip of his penis. The more that's there, the merrier.
It was indeed awkward being an uncut teenager 40 years ago, but I am very glad now my mother bucked fashion and let me keep all the bits Mother Nature gave me. My spouse concurs.
Posted by cosmopolite on March 13, 2007
Born 1956. Not circumcised. Over many years, "smegma" and inflammation issues led to the necessary procedure. So... very much pain, over a month. Intercourse difference? Absolutely none. Unqualified advice: just do it.
Posted by Guy from GTA on April 15, 2007
o ya well heres food for thought you wanna know who else is uncircumcised
theres elvis, jimi hendrix, colin farrel, nicholas cage, both the van halens, george harrison n so much more it doesnt matter what ur view is on this theyre fuckin stars that probably get laid a billion times every night n if they can whip out their cock n fuck they have self-confidence in it its the same if ur circumcised ya hygeine is a necessity but even if ur circumcised u still gotta wash it u shouldnt go n post a bunch of bullshit if u've never experienced it thats just being ignorant think about ur side too theres nothing good about cutting off part of someone n if any chicks read this think about this if doctors cut off the tip of ur tit n called it 'normal' or 'hygenic' wtf would you do? its mutilation n while its for some its not for others...
pretty much things on the internet are too biased so heres a different viewpoint...
Posted by silver haze on May 9, 2007