... and he's still squealing. Not since Mussolini rode with Hitler has such a traitorous little satrap been so feted by so powerful a madman.

Copyright © 2006, Maurie Gee

Picture: John Feder

Besides Australia being America's only friend, what is the secret of Johnny and Georgie's long-term romance? Said Georgie, "Umeruhcans'll be forever grateful to our man of steel for sellin' us Australia so cheap." Said Johnny, "We are a nice fit, aren't we dear … oops."

Picture: Reuters

It's good to know someone is having a good time while Iraq burns. Labor's Kevin Rudd: "It is as if we are living in two different worlds. Foreign policy triumphalism from John Winston Howard from the very safe distance of Washington — in contrast to the day-to-day accumulation of the most gruesome evidence of unfolding foreign policy failure in Baghdad."

Rupert Murdoch may have given Johnny a jittery moment by suggesting the PM should quit while he's still ahead, say in Decembe. But honestly, can you see John Howard doing anything else? With no other interests outside of politics, cricket and wreath-laying, it's a sure bet he'll have to be removed kicking and screaming.

Courtesy: Michael Leunig

In the final analysis the majority of Australians are proud of their Prime Minister. He keeps their heads down and their expectations lowered so they don't have to worry about messy intangibles like integrity, decency, honour, that sort of thing. From their vantage point, he might even be regarded as a spunk. Not the kind of man you and I might regard as a spunk, but a more limited, conservative sort. Because let's face it, Little Johnny Howard is the pinup boy of Christian Fundamentalists, mean old ladies who wear a different coloured cardigan for every day of the week, boofy tradesmen, corporate psychopaths, anti-intellectual aspirationals, xenophobes and racists … and so forth. His amazing feat is that he has made everyone of them look, act and sound like him.

Picture: John Feder

-- Chet LaMerde